18 Month Update

Alrighty, so we had Miss Mackenzie's 18 month appointment yesterday afternoon.  Here are her stats:

20 lbs 8 oz (we FINALLY hit 20 lbs!!!) - 7th %ile
30 3/4 inches long - 25th %ile

So, she's small, but that's okay.  We think she'll always be petite, and there is nothing wrong with that!  Sometimes the best gifts come in the smallest packages!  :-)

The world was going to end a couple times in that small appointment room.  First, when Dr. Jen came too close with the stethascope (sp?).  Like OH EM GEE!  Second, when Dr. Jen picked her up to see what she could do, as far as standing.  Like can I hear an OH EM GEE??  Yeah.  Thirdly, when we got stuck.  Uh, huh, shot time!  At least it was only 1 - supposed to get 2 but we were 4 days too early for the hep a shot.  Only cried for a minute (shortest time ever!) while momma held her and kissed the boo boos away.  :-)  I love my job.  Most of the time.

As far as her walking is concerned, the doctor isn't happy Miss M isn't walking yet.  I told her about our First Steps evaluation and that the gal doesn't think she'll qualify.  So, we got an order to go to Children's Mercy for a physical therapy eval and treatment should we not qualify for FS.  So, that's good.  Hopefully we'll get the help M needs to get up and GOING! 

You know what frustrates me?  No?  Well, I'll tell ya.  It frustrates me because it doesn't seem like anyone else has to work with their child so much to get them to walk.  I don't know if the not walking is because M is a preemie because she's caught up in every other area.  Why isn't she walking?  I feel like a major failure as a mom.  Is there something else I was supposed to have done with her that I didn't do?  I know I'm not a failure, but when I see every. other. child walking - even those younger (by far) than M - I can't help but feel that way.  Sigh. 

And I know what you're gonna say.  You need to give it all to God.  Mackenzie will walk when she's good and ready.  God's in control. 

I know all of that.  Trusting God is ALWAYS easier said than done.  Unless you can actually put yourself in my shoes, then you don't understand.  Not really, anyway.  Sure, anyone who has a heart and/or children, understand the pressures of parenting.  They understand the worries that you face every day. 

But anywho, I know I'm not alone.  I just felt like babbling for a little bit.  It's kind of like therapy for me.  I always feel better once I get my heart down on e-paper.  :-)  Ya know?